Cutter Brown boring meeting and emails equals FUN
by GPR
Summary: The title says all, Claudia's a little adamant at first but Nic manages to...pursade her. Claudia/Nick.


I based this fic on me and a male friend playing footsies under the table, sending emails to one another to try annoy the other more, whilst in a rather boring chemistry lesson, and as you'll gather, we got caught. I thought it was funny, so I just put primeval characters in place of us and added a different subject matter (my mate was talking about crisps (don't ask) rather then what Claudia and Nick talk about).

* * *

To: CBrown

From: NCutter

Subject: My funeral arrangements

Miss Brown,

May I point out that if I am not going to die from some horribly large dinosaur, then I will certainly die from boredom. This email is to get your own opinion on what kind and colour of flower I should have on my grave. Red roses or white lilies?

To: NCutter

From: CBrown

Subject: RE: My funeral arrangements

Professor,

May _I_ remind you that if you are going to clutter my work email inbox with useless comments on the aspect of this meeting, I _will_ have to arrange your funeral arrangements, but you wouldn't have died from boredom. If you are going to continue this useless string of emails, send them to my non-work email.

PS, white lilies.

To: CBrown

From: NCutter

Subject: RE: My funeral arrangements

Forget formalities,

"Useless comments on the aspect of this meeting" why so formal? If I remember correctly, the first time we met there was more of an…informal greeting.

Those aside, are you implying you'd be the reason for my death? If so, I suggest death caused by sexual exhaustion.

BTW, what is your normal email?

To: NCutter

From: CBrown

Subject: RE: My funeral arrangements

Cutter, I doubt I could kill you by sleeping with you. Don't be so cocky. And the reference to our first "meeting" in my defence, I was being chatted up by a sleaze bag, I thought company with a more…entertaining man was appropriate. Besides, I needed a scientist's opinion.

And if you think I am going to give you my normal email after your sexual remark, think again.

To: CBrown

From: NCutter

Subject RE: My funeral arrangements.

Claudia,

One look from you and I could go weak at the knees, and I hate to be forward but if – and only if – I slept with you, it might be possible to die.

To: NCutter

From: CBrown

Subject: RE: My funeral arrangements

ClaudiaJane and then the rest of the rubbish you type on the end for aol, I think I'm one of your contacts already.

To: CBrown

From: NCutter

Subject: RE: My funeral arrangements

What's this, have you given in already?

To: NCutter

From: CBrown

Subject: RE: My funeral arrangements

Not as such, but if you are going to make more…explicit references, I suggest that email.

To: CBrown

From: NCutter

Subject: RE: My funeral arrangements

You're not going to read and reply are you?

To: NCutter

From: CBrown

Subject: RE: My funeral arrangements

No.

To: CBrown

From: NCutter

Subject: RE: My funeral arrangements

I know what you're going to do.

To: NCutter

From: CBrown

Subject: RE: My funeral arrangements

What?

To: CBrown

From: NCutter

Subject: RE: My funeral arrangements

You're going to go home tonight and read through them.

To: NCutter

From: CBrown

Subject: RE: My funeral arrangements

You are dead beyond belief Nick.

To: ClaudiaJane

From: NCutter

Subject: Explicit content

One question, why aol? Why not msn or yahoo?

To: NCutter

From: ClaudiaJane

Subject: Not really explicit

No idea, I like aol better I suppose. Bug me all you like on this email.

To: ClaudiaJane

From: NCutter

Subject: RE: Not really explicit

I thought you said you wouldn't reply to my emails.

To: NCutter

From: ClaudiaJane

Subject: RE: Not really explicit

You're right.

To:ClaudiaJane

From: NCutter

Subject: RE: Not really explicit

So?

To: ClaudiaJane

From: NCutter

Subject: RE: Not really explicit

Claudia?

To: ClaudiaJane

From: NCutter

Subject: RE: Not really explicit

Claudia?

To: ClaudiaJane

From: NCutter

Subject: RE: Not really explicit

Okay, I get the picture. I'm going to bug you on you're work email if you don't reply.

To: ClaudiaJane

From: NCutter

Subject: RE: Not really explicit

…

To: CBrown

From: NCutter

Subject: Death by annoyance

I decided that you not replying to me isn't an option.

PS, Is it just me or has that really wrinkled guy been talking for an hour already?

To: NCutter

From: CBrown

Subject: RE: Death by annoyance

One and a quarter actually.

To: CBrown

From: NCutter

Subject: RE: Death by annoyance

Miss Brown,

I would like to avert my eyes but find it impossible, since your legs are the only things I can visually see, do you mind perhaps moving a little so I can focus more on what's being said? Rather then your…calves.

To: NCutter

From: CBrown

Subject: RE: Death by annoyance

Nick, can I point out the fact my legs are _underneath_ the table? And that your eyes shouldn't be looking under there in the first place. In addition to that, I'd like to add the fact that I can see you, and you're staring a little too much.

To: CBrown

From: NCutter

Subject: RE: Death by annoyance

Claudia,

I am compelled to gaze at such long legs.

To: NCutter

From: CBrown

Subject: RE: Death by annoyance

Flattery is not going to get you anywhere Nick. And would you stop that.

To: CBrown

From: NCutter

Subject: RE: Death by annoyance

Flattery is going to get me somewhere…stop what?

To: NCutter

From: CBrown

Subject: RE: Death by annoyance

Your foot is touching my leg.

PS, I hate to ask, but where will it get you?

To: CBrown

From: NCutter

Subject: RE: Death by annoyance

My foot is where it should be.

PS, Your bedroom, where _I_ should be.

To: CBrown & NCutter

From: JPLester

Subject: Footsies.

You are both aware – or should be by now – that I can see you and your game of "footsies" under the table. Cutter, I would appreciate it if you waited until _after_ the meeting to "fondle" Miss Brown. I've also noted the two of you are taking a lot more notes then everyone else – which is impossible, since you, Cutter, never listen and Miss Brown usually ends up half asleep, or investigating how much it would cost to refurbish her toilet.

PS, try to look like you're paying attention.

To: CBrown

From: LizardGirl

Subject: Unknown

Is it just me or is that guy going on and on about staplers?

To: LizardGirl

From: CBrown

Subject: RE: Unknown

It's just you Abby; he's talking about recycling paper to help the environment.

To: CBrown

From: LizardGirl

Subject: RE: Unknown

Thanks for the clarification (don't understand why we got drag to this)…what is Nick _doing?_

To: LizardGirl

From: CBrown

Subject: RE: Unknown

I have absolutely no idea.

PS, our department was spending over budget, that's why we're here.

To: NCutter

From: CBrown

Subject: WTF!?!

Where the hell are you trying to put your foot!?!

To: CBrown

From: NCutter

Subject: RE: WTF!?!

I'm sorry, is that I bit to high up for you?

To: NCutter

From: CBrown

Subject: RE: WTF!?!

Yes! Abby's noticed.

To: CBrown

From: NCutter

Subject: RE: WTF!?!

Oh shit, sorry…has he really finished now?

To: NCutter

From: CBrown

Subject: RE: WTF!?!

Yes, just about, my office, 10 minutes no questions.

To: CBrown

From: NCutter

Subject: RE: WTF!?!

I misjudged you Claudia Brown.

To: NCutter

From: CBrown

Subject: RE: WTF!?!

Haha. 10 minutes.

* * *

Please review,

GPR


End file.
